Worry doesn't encompass the way I feel...

Our little Elliott has been a little slow when it comes to speaking. So, about 8 weeks ago, we went and had a speech evaluation done. At the time of the evaluation Elliott had a vocabulary of about 25 words. Which, is on the middle of the low end of the spectrum for a child his age. We scheduled more speech therapy appointments, his first appointment was this past Tuesday. 

Well, in talking with his therapist, we began to recognize there are several other areas which need to be addressed. He will also need to see an Occupational Therapist. Elliott has his routines, which if you haven't spent more than 24 hours with him, you might not notice at all, you would think he just has this little quirks, no big deal, a few meltdowns no big deal, he is two. To better describe some of his quirks here are some of them:

Elliott loves to have his snacks lined up in perfect little rows. His trains, frogs, animals all have to be in perfect rows. If any of his rows get knocked over he will throw what ever he was lining up all over the room he is in. His blanket must be perfectly flat, not a ripple, upturned corner or crinkle can be in the blanket. He can spend up to 45 minutes just rearranging his blanket. We have to cross over the train tracks after we drop Malia off to school and when we pick her up from school. If, I don't cross the train tracks he will scream and cry the whole way home. We have to cross the tracks no matter what. Whenever we head down to Mom and Dad's we have to take the same route, or he will scream, kick and cry until he is in an area he recognizes, only then will he be ok. 

Elliott clings to Spongebob like a child would cling to a blanket, bear, pacifier. He also will repeat our names - Mama, Dada, Rolo, Baby and Grandma go bye bye, not wanting us to respond, but just doing it to do it. Tonight's repetition was "A, E, I, O, U". I listened to him say this to Steve about 18 times before he moved on to something else. Bedtime can take up to two hours or more. Then there is the most upsetting of all behaviors, he will hit himself when confused or extremely upset. Now watching your child do this to himself will reduce you to tears, and believe you me, you will do anything to get him to stop. 

You want the best in life for your children, I breast fed because breast is supposed to be best. He has never been hospitalized, he is the picture of health in his doctors eyes. You do all the things you think will help - eating organic, making sure he is fed to the nth degree, read every book under the moon 50 plus times in a day just to see a smile. It was only at his two year appointment when red flags started to fly. We thought and so did our family think that Elliott was just working on different things, his unbelievable motor skills - the kid can take apart and put together anything in front of him. He has the most unbelievable smile and awestruck look in his eye when he has figured out something mechanical. We figured his speech will come along with everything else, and you know it has, he has over 75+ words that I am very proud of and he spoke his first sentence this weekend. "Ow! She hit my head". I practically broke down and cried at Costco and cheered him on, like a cheerleader at a football game. I cherish each and every word, vowel and consonant like a piano player cherishes their keys, notes and chords. I love hearing him say Fish and Frog and do not tire of it. 

We thought all was ok, he is doing so well, his vocabulary has expanded from 25-75 words in 8 weeks... But something is still amiss. It took a professionals eyes looking in and for them to tell us there is something else we have to consider, Autism or PDD. Today I hope and pray they are all wrong. As my dad and Steve keep telling me take it a day at time. This to shall pass. I love my little boy more than anyone can possibly realize.